I’m back…

…back from Portland and all my other mini travels this past month. 
…back to my workout regimen, even more so now since I’m in training mode (more on that later).
….back to living solo since my “other half” is back to work on the other side of the country (I know my complaining here should be minimal as there are many who have significant others deployed).
….back to having dreams with my mom in them (haven’t had those for a long time).
…back to the regimen of school as I close my last course and begin (officially) my thesis paper writing to complete my program and achieve my Masters degree.

Well let’s start here….I returned back from Portland on Monday evening (of course much later than originally expected due to fog at SFO).  Exhaustion set in quickly and I was nearly snoring at the dinner table.  That night I slept hard and deep and by myself.  He got on a plane to go back to the EC the same day as I left to go to Portland; it didn’t hit me until I got off the plane in SFO fr Portland that he was really gone.  It’s still hard, we work well, we both do well separately but we are SO much better together–physically.  So exhaustion was a blessing that night being that it was my first night sleeping alone again.  That night I had vivid dreams–upon first reflection, I thought they were nightmares.  My first part of the dream was me fighting for my life, pretty physically too.  Usually I’m running from being attacked, I can’t recall ever actually standing my ground and fighting back.  The second part of my dream was about my mom–haven’t had one of those in a long time.

I woke up that morning to a boxing session at 8am.  This was my first “real workout” in at least a week.  I had been walking all over downtown Portland, but that was nothing in comparison to my normal workouts.  I was physically unprepared but even more so, mentally!  Boxing is physical and mental.  Combinations require you to be quick and sharp, or you get hit.  I was all sorts of off!  It was unnerving.  For the rest of the week I went hard and was determined to get back on track!  Tonight I sit here sore all over and tired.  On top of that, I realized that I needed something to keep me anchored to my workouts for the summer.  School will keep me extra busy during this last homestretch and I don’t want to fall off course.  So I signed up for my first half marathon in eight weeks.  I’m going to break out of my comfort zone and train to run all 13.1 miles in Sonoma County this August.

This was a blunt reawakening.  It’s not just physical, it’s mental.  It’s not just mental, it’s emotional.  It’s not just me that’s going thru this, it’s all of us.  And above all, I have a choice.  A choice to be active or be inactive.  A choice to live my life or let life happen to me. 

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