Focus on the journey not the Destination

Men be glad you aren’t a female…seriously…I mean I’m laughing at myself while I’m writing this but in all honesty it’s not pregnancy that I wish men could experience so they understand—it’s the menstrual cycle. I swear ya’ll wouldn’t last a month. Don’t get me wrong, by no means am I saying that how we act during this time is ok or that being in your position is easy. But I think if you experienced you would better understand why some of—well probably most of—us act the way we do when we PMS. For me, it is not about the cramps or the fact that I bleed unwillingly for a week. It’s consciously knowing my hormones are ridiculously out of whack and the moods that sets me into and not really being able to control it all. It frustrates me that I get all clingy and doom & gloom sometimes to where I just want to be a hermit. I don’t like it b/c that’s not me, that’s not who I am.

Just on Sunday I was super motivated about the New Year and new me…. and Monday I turned into this down in the dumps person. I just wanted to be coddled and I’m SO not that girl. I’m a “give me my space” kind of girl. Let me do my own thing girl! Tonight as I was re-evaluating my previous day I sort of winced. I wanted to go back and apologize to those I bulldozed over. But as I was contemplating my “I’m sorry” messages to those people I was reminded of an email I had received from my dad not too long ago.

It was a story about a little boy who had a bad temper that he couldn’t seem to control. So his father told him that every time he got mad and wanted to blow off steam he should go hammer a nail into the fence. So time went by and every time the boy got mad he’d take the hammer to the nail to the fence. Boxes of nails later his outbursts became few and far between. Eventually the boy didn’t need the nails or the hammer anymore. When he went to tell his father about this he said good now remove those nails. Perplexed the boy did so. He noticed all of the holes left in the fence from the nails he hammered into it. His father turned to him and said those are all the holes that you would leave in someone when you would have an outburst with them. You can’t go back and fill those holes. So while you may be able to go and remove the nail you cant fix the hole.

This reminded me of my day. All those holes I left and that was just one day…I shook my head in disappointment. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that “sorry” should be forgotten and not used. But in the future I need to be more conscious of my actions and words that I choose to use. I may be having a bad day, but someone else’s may be a whole lot worse. All they may need is just a smile.

So guys, while it may not be possible for you to experience what we as women go through every month, keep in mind that it is not an easy battle for us to fight either. Patience is a virtue…. just take a deep breathe and remember that it will all be ok.

Meanwhile, I’m working on getting back on track—no matter the time of month—to my original goal and inspiration from Sunday’s sermon of enjoying and focusing on my journey more so than my destination. This year has a lot in store for me. I have more weight loss and health goals set for myself, educational and career goals, and milestones that I know are in store for me. But in order to succeed at all the potential that this year has for me, I have to let go of the person I was in my past and move forward into the woman I am now and going to be in the future. So with this journey I plan to enjoy each and every moment of it. Everything happens for a reason: good, bad and otherwise. Be patient and with an open heart you will always come to understand who, what, where, when, why, and how. I have been blessed with life, now it’s my job to make something of it!

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1 thought on “Focus on the journey not the Destination

  1. Someone sent me this email today I thought that her experience was interesting so I wanted to share….Any feedback??"Hi Andrea!I was reading your blog today. The story you tell is a story that my grandmother told me a long long time ago. It affected me so much and I have never forgotten it. It was like a light bulb going on. To me it sends a positive message. It tells me I shouldn't take it lightly the way I treat people, even if they forgive me." This story draws my attention to the impact that may actions have on the people around me and less about their reaction.Well, I told it to my sister in law once and she almost took my head off! It was the first fight I ever had with her. To her it is a negative story, it says that there is no place for forgiveness in it and she wouldn't see it in a different way. After that I asked maybe two other people what they thought about this story and it seems that nobody would see it the way I do. Thank God they were less aggressive than my sister in law :)After this experience I asked myself if I am wrong or if I have a twisted mind. This question managed to drive me crazy for a while and I must say, I still have a bad taste in my mouth thinking about it. I couldn't find an answer and my mood was getting worse so I asked myself why was I tripping about it? It tells me "be careful how you treat people" and it has been a good companion to me over the years so why do I try to see it through other people's eyes?I am curious if you get any responses to your story and how do people react to it. So please share. 🙂 "

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